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The other pipe burn

Posted on September 11, 2010 by Scott in Other. 15 comments

It sizzled. That’s what I remember. Ten years later (see photo below) I can’t be sure that my memory is serving me as well as it should be, but in my head I can hear the steak-on-BBQ hiss.

She had her full weight on the leg as she dismounted the bike. That probably made things worse. Your normal, garden-variety “hand touches freaking hot metal thing” burn only lasts an instant before your reflexes kick in, but in this case she had to shift her whole body to a new position to break contact with the hot exhaust.

At first I had no idea what happened. She screamed. I looked around to see where the danger was. Snake? Man with knife? Broken glass in the sand? What? The exhaust? You’ve got to be kidding. Of course it’s hot! We’d been riding for an hour in Vietnamese summer, but still I felt guilty for not pointing it out to her. Note to self; always tell pillions about the shiny, burny thing two inches from their foot peg. Especially future wives.

I’ve never had a holiday go so pear-shaped so quickly. An hour later we’re back in the hotel room and on the phone to my mum, the nurse. There’s a blister on the back of her leg just above the right ankle that’s the size of a golf ball. I manage to get the thing dressed after (gulp) popping the blister.

Later we would discover that “non-stick” wound dressings don’t always work as advertised, and that the Vietnamese locals weren’t the least bit surprised. “Ahhh – MOW-TER-BAIKE” they’d say, smiling.

  • hj

    yeah man thats how you decide if they can hang around a while…. big babies get left at the bus stop

  • I have done my share of burning leg, ankle or calf as well. I always tell girls to watch the exhaust when I give them a ride. I even remind them right before they dismount. Some listen and some don't. Just like anything else…

  • Jurp

    "Tis only a flesh wound" Ahh women, just tell her that was a love memento.

  • KIK


  • Dan Long

    You make this sound like such an emergency. Call your mum? A little dramatic, are we?

    I guess everyone has to have their first beer.

    Why would you pop the blister?/ That is the WORST thing you can do.

  • Eric S.

    On some dark, atavistic level I suspect we deliberately burn our girlfriends.
    Back in college, I had been checking out a particular cutie every afternoon in the cafeteria… 5'6, honey blonde with flaxen sun highlights, athletic with curves in all the right places, and usually in one of those sun dresses that inspire even gentlemen to ogle. Each day, building the courage to chat her up, I'd find a seat nearby. As I was admiring her toned legs one day she shifted to reveal a large, pink oval on the inside of her right calf.
    Damn, taken by a fellow-rider!
    Honor dictated I move on.

  • @Dan Long, I believe Andrew was trying to show how concerned he was about her burn. And It is really hard not to pop blisters for some people. I can't help doing it. I would pop blisters on other people if they let me.

  • Pamberjack

    Spot on Switchum. Something tells me Mr Long is yet to get his Boy Scout "Women and Relationships" badge…

    And as for popping it, I dare anyone to dress a blister that size without popping it – let alone sleeping or showering with it. Any bigger and it would've needed it's own damn passport.

  • Dan Long

    Actually I'm 41 and been riding since i was about 20. I've been through 2 marriages and have an 18 year old daughter. My girlfriend just had a blister that was a bit bigger than a golf ball and we made sure not to pop it. Popping a blister only makes it hurt and is a huge mistake. You have to go out of your way to make sure you DO NOT pop it. No matter what it takes. Do you want in infection? Go ahead and pop it! IIf this guys mom was a nurse, then he really would have known that. I think this story is just not true

  • Steve

    Hah! I did the same thing to my wife; before she was my wife; AFTER listening to my future father-in-law lecture me about death-cycles! Those double pipes on my '76 KH500; your passenger stands up, you lean the bike onto the side-stand & it's sizzle-time!!!

  • Lawrence A.

    I just did this to my girlfriend not too long ago. We were still not quite officially "together," but we were going out. It had been her very first time on a motorcycle and just as we stopped I was just able to get out "Now watch ou-" when she proceeded to hop off the right side of the bike and press her shapely calf to the exhaust pipe. She hardly made a fuss, just saying "Ouch! That's going to hurt tomorrow."

    It's been six months so far. Things are going fine, she still happily hops on the back of the bike and even says she wants a bike of her own. The resulting scar looks a bit like an exclamation point for some reason, she says it's because "life is exciting."

  • Pamberjack

    @Lawrence She's a keeper.

  • tom

    being a welder, I'm quite used to being burned, my latest was whilst welding on a bike, I had to get under the engine to build up a lug that had snapped off the engine, whilst manoeuvring I sat on the ceramic nozzle of my TIG torch, got a lovely perfect rectangular scar on my rrse, quite uncomfortable for a couple of weeks, still had a good giggle though

  • Matt

    Wear some proper motorcycle gear and that wont happen


    SIAGON KISS, they hurt like hell.