I’ve been blessed/cursed over the past couple of weeks with the task of designing a seat for my new bike. Everything else on the thing is sorted (well, in my head and on paper at least) except for that goddamn arse receptacle. In one memorable session I sat down with a note book and pencil and drew no less than 25 different shapes, each one only a few grains of HB graphite different from the last, yet all totally unique. And none quite right. One looks like a fighter from Battlestar Galactica. The next one a shovel. And then a loaf of bread. And on it goes. Until slowly I realise I’m going a little bit crazy. But obviously not as crazy as the boys from the coolest Parisian ‘ped shop we know, Children of Decadence. They spent so long on their seat it started to look like a slab of rare roast beef. And you know what? It really kinda does.

Here’s head Spoilt Child, Thomas Patouillard Demoriane. “It’s roast beef on a Motobecane SP98 base with a board track sauce. I’ve never been good in the kitchen, bakings are often missed, and my cooking skills are anyway limited to common dishes.”

“But whether in the preparation of a dish or a machine, we can sometimes have very pleasant surprises! That’s the case here, because after finishing the saddle, red with white trim, we found with my saddler that it closely looks like… a roast!”

“Here’s our roast beef recipe. Powder coating for all pieces except for the tank. Repair and upgrade of the 75cc engine. DellOrto UA19S carburetor with polished tank. Electronic ignition. Handmade saddle. Simplified and integrated wiring. Aluminium plates. Rear brake with right pedal. Clubman handlebars. Enduro K46 tires. And lots of patience. Then enjoy!”