Consider, if you will, the pitiful life of the average pogonophobic. ‘What’s a pogonophobic,’ I hear you ask? A pogonophobic, dear reader, is a person with a morbid fear of beards or facial hair. How quickly their daily goings-on must transform into nightmarish, hair-filled scenarios brimming with unimaginable terrors. The accidental glimpse of Tom Selleck while changing TV channels. Waking in a cold sweat with a head full of Ned Flanders. And what could be worse than a monstrous craving for fried chicken only to flee in fright at the Colonel’s wondrous white whisker wings? This is what; a veritable ‘perfect storm’ for pogonophobics the world over. They call it hell on earth. We call it ‘The Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride’.